update my blog

my friend asked me to update my blog ! ;-p

he said it must be at least a paragraph to be considered as an update

i think i have nothing to say at all now

is this a paragraph already ?

ahh, yeah having semester break right now, just had annual ball...

(is this a paragraph dy?)

this is soooo funny !

A Ritual that i must perform

It has been a ritual for me to have a post everytime i have any exams...so now my finals starts tomorrow and i am here typing a post ! surprisingly, i don't feel like studying super hard though finals is tomolo, and i dun feel as anxious as i used to be...somehow self-fulfilling prophecy has took place in me or minutes before the start of the exam, probably i'll have mental collapse....

and and, after this finals, I will be a third year student starting this new semester, and that sounds so old and make me feel old....sometimes i don't remember being 21 years old at all...like my friend said no matter how old you;ll be after u passed 21, u'll always forgot ur exact age but only remember that you're 21...

another stressful year ahead, as being a third year student is not easy especially there's thesis, colloquium and also thesis defense....the good thing about being a third year student is that there will be prom night, graduation and from that moment we graduate, the real definition of LIFE begins !!!

and and just wanna blog a little bit on my holiday plan (2 weeks only) after my finals ends which will be next week thursday...right after exam, is stress releasing event - sing k, then next tuesday it's Genting...i know it's lame to go Genting but we have not much place to go...just look around us, earthquakes, politics etc, etc etc. so just Genting, then it's KL trip the next day to KLCC's skybridge on the following thursday...and friday is consider my big day !

The day to get my braces...yup braces...all done for my precious future ahead !! hahaha !! and unfortunately my graduation and prom nite pics of me having braces will be taken, i guess...real significant event , triple important events all in one shot !

And today i went for an interview to be a committee member for HELP 30 hour famine camp...i made myself sound foolish anyway !

see, look this has been a ritual for me to post during my preparation for finals...the reason : wanna avoid revisions, being lazy in the same time !

Competitive

Seriously, i love to read my blog over and over again..Cause it will show how naive I used to be and how i have "grow" over time.

anyway, just a post on the discovery that i have made...for first time in my life, i am starting to be competitive in my studies, I know it's good but in the same time also it's bad.

Cause no matter how good and how hard you've tried, there are people somewhere out there that do better and harder than you. So how now ?

It's not that I should not try my best, but knowing after i've tried my best, I feel frustrated after knowing I can't achieve my desire results.

So tell me how ?

TO "GROW"

today is the day, the first time i am presenting our research in psychology research colloquium. Received comments - both positive and negative.

"you need competition to see improvement"

"you need both competition, criticisms, praises, comments, etc. to be stronger, stay stronger, reinforce you to be stronger"

and to all the Michael Jackson's fans out there, i am sorry that I, Jenny Eng Tsai Ch'ang has made a mistake by thinking "Thriller" as rock genre of music. *bows*

For the first time....

There are many first times______happening this month of November 2009.

1. The first time that i could not finish a exam (MKT201-consumer behavior) especially finals. It requires us to do a case study and 3 essays from the 6 essay questions in 3 hours time and the lecturer marks according how many pages you've wrote, for one full page you only get 4-5 marks. I only manage to finish the case study (40%) and 1 and 1/2 essay (which is 20% if i got full marks). I can't even imagine whether can i pass this final paper. I hope to pass it, cause don't wanna repeat it !!! case study at least I'll get 30 marks or more and the essay that i did i hope for i'll get 20 marks...just cukup makan to pass the exam and i'm super blessed for it.

2. The first time I'm presenting in Psychology Research Colloquium. Yes it will be the first time me and my group are presenting on our experiment/research on the effects of music on memory..yup i know it's a kinda-boring-everyone-also-kinda-do-memory-experiment feel, but it's an experience for me. It's like showing everyone what we've found, all the hard work that we've put in the last 2 months will be paid off....especially during our mock presentation (though i got only 1.8 out of 4 %), it was the first time Miss Winnee said to us "I like the fact you guys are well prepared but you guys are just too long-winded" (Cheong, 2009). It's ok miss winnee i know you are pro in memory experiment and u've listened to 7 previous mock presentation and probably you find our experiment has no creativity and seems boring to you, but the moment you praise on our well preparedness, i totally change my perception about you! It is also the first time that i don't feel so scared/nervous/anxious talking to you.

3. The first time I change my preception towards Miss Winnee and the first time I realized that Miss Winnee could be such a nice and understanding person. The first time I experience how miss winnee could control the whole class of 200+ students, and it is the only lecture that every student in the class pays attention to the lecturer lecturing- that is miss winnee's class le. All this while, I was taught that if you can't change the world, therefore you should change instead of making the world to change. But i really admire and salute Miss Winnee, she doesn't change her way. Instead, she makes the world change according to how she does/works on her stuff. *SALUTE* She came into class ytdy (friday) and extended our assignment due date. Not only that, she also allows us to leave 20 minutes early.

4. The first time I have chest pain..it's as though like those in panic attack disorder. I feel it is so difficult to breathe, can't really talk and focus or pay attention or concentrate. I would say 2 chest pain in a row of a week. I hope i'm not panicking and there's other reasons for it (PMS).

5. The first time that I am so out-dated about the world and everything. I seriously don't know what is going around the world. It is because I am so BUSY WITH MY ASSIGNMENTS. (i know it is an excuse le)

That's all I guess ! Well there are only 5 first times, not as much as i've said. But these 5 first times cause a major change in my life.

there's such ppl existing in this world >??

well i just wanna blog about my stressed moments and also frustration moment le.....i can't believe there's such people living and existing in this world le (referring to the 3 fellas/lazybumps - i can consider or address them as managers/supervisors/ queens /king)

they don't care about anything about the assignment, not only that created mess and shit for me to "clean up" in the end !!! please these sort/kind of homosapiens, why are you here in this world ah ? they seem to be so laid back about everything...care so much less about the 206 assignment....quoting miss winnee "what is this ??" all these ppl are just shit le !! i'm being rude here and i don't care...if i can i wanna use the most worst bad words in the universe to address them !!!

reminiscence

well after losing a Friend (gary leon robert, rest in peace), i started to search back the msgs that he sent me in friendster, i do feel at that time that i've missed out a good opportunity on someone who is so good and perfect. so i found out the last msg he sent me was my 2007 bday msg and that's all, we both did not msg each other anymore in friendster.

you may think i'm evil and cold hearted that only after you had passed away only i started searching back and looking at your profile and now everything is too late to speak or msg you, my dear friend. though we did not meet each other before officially but i believe we've met before, it's just that we were too young that time and these little things will not last long enough till our adulthood.

with this unfortunate incident of yours, i really feel regret for not keeping in touch with you and i also feel sorry for you for leaving everything and everyone else behind especially your family. i understand that it is not your wish or wat so ever but i hope you're enjoying your other part of life in another world where i believe you'll be loved by your God, Jesus.

your incident taught me a very good lesson which is i know it's a bit dumb but i do take it as a life lesson to learn; which is to appreciate friendships, relationships, friends and mostly family members. you've showed me that life is fragile. and your incident teach to to grab hold of any guy that is super perfect and as good as you, never missed out that opportunity, gather up my courage and just appreciate every feeling i have over whosoever in future. i'll always remember that. i got to know that your birthday is somewhere around the corner which is 18/8/1987. i promise that i'll always remember this date or perhaps i'll find a guy who is born in this day and probably share the same personality as you...hehehe, just joking !!

and while i was reading the msg that gary sent me in friendster i also read other old msgs sent to me by my friends, from the msg i could sense that all of us used to be so close and can really just talk bout anything or perhaps crap about anything, and now all those who send msg to me in friendster, honestly i'm not keeping in touch with them at all..i'm not msg-ing or sms-ing or IM-ing them. or even email them.....

should i or should i not ?

cheers,
Jenny (16/8/2009, 12.19am)

p.s to gary's family members, stay strong
to gary, hope you'll have a better life and journey in ur next life