well today i had a super bad n tired day..firstly i rememba myself since yesterday before goin to bed to take my tuition chem notes tomolo and at the end i left it in my mum’s car…dong me la..arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…kononnya we had gotong royong in school today and me and ah loo kinda painted alot of walls today n super tired,,,,squat then stand and almost every part of my hand n clothes are covered with paint..when we go for kasturi tuition the counter guy ask apa hal ?so i just say we mengecat dinding sekolah..he said wah hebat ah perempuan tau mengecat i was like mestilah kita orang ni superwoman…hehehehehe
omg our legs n hands are super super super tired..anyway thanks pn khoo for that pack of nasi goreng plus egg…it’s delicious
afta tat got one more hour only can go home so decided to go back to class n rest for a while,class had become super clean so not upper six science two la well anyway i can feel and finally breathe fresh air in the class when i first open the door..boy i like it so much…then went to the toy-let to clean myself la all those silly paints luckily it went off,just need to scrub it harder…met suyen and we actually chat in the toilet…well it’s the best place to gossip rite…hahahahaha su yen so sorry ah when u tell me sumthing bout * i really dunno wat reaction i should give you as i really dunno wat m i thinking tat time so i chosen to actually ignore….and to pretend that i know it all…at tat time i really like i’m having self-esteem collapsion n really wanna burst out u know..but i just tahan n tahan…..even till in the bus to kasturi…but in the end i burst out in my house afta being scolded by my mum…the silly part is i’m crying and i’m moping the floor…well i just cried alot this year..seriously last year and those previous years i seldom cry le….
anyway i thought for a while in the bus le,as always when i got nothing to do i’ll start to think stewpid unrational stuff…
here it is….when u like or have a crush on someone,you really hope u can tell them but then u will always think twice before actually putting it on action..cause u fear that u maybe rejected..in that very second u decided to just keep it to urself and keep hoping,take it as a pendorong to keep goin to skul n one day maybe u’ll change their thoughts and start to accept u for who u really are but then there’s another thinking if u dun express out how u feel how in the world they know and besides that u r like giving urself false hope,a fairytale tat only will happen in our imagination and not reality…once said the more hope u put in something u’ll be hurt more when u discover things just don’t go as wat u hope for…so tell me should we just lie to ourselves and keep imaginating or just express out n take a risk,who knows wat will happen ????
i wish to be a perfect someone and a perfect daughter with perfect hair and looks, with perfect confidence and perfect smile not to forget perfect attitude and personality, plus perfect friends tat always be there for me,perfect family to hang on whenever i need advice n love,perfect someone that understands me and tell me everything’s gonna be ok and a perfect special someone to tell me that they love me for who i am..but this perfect life will never ever happen in this world cause when something’s too perfect there’s no surprise and colours in life…if perfection really makes u happie,are u willing to trade something to change ur life forever?
things just don’t go as wat i thought it should be, how i guessed it would be? from now on i know my life had really really changed not by trading sumthing but by changing the way i see and think on sumthing,look in different perspectives….
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